I can’t tell if he’s deadly earnest or hopelessly cynical.
And no, I don’t mean Trump.
Thanks to this column by Kurt Schlichter, we have a way forward in “Decision 2016”.
And a great new nickname for President Hillary Clinton.
“Felonia von Pantsuit”.
After angsting over the “Tweedle Dumb v. Tweedle Massively Corrupt” ballot choice, and a few other assorted signs o’ the times, he gives us:
“But everything is not politics. Let’s be thankful for dogs. Dogs are still awesome. Cats – whatever. But dogs rule.
“Here’s another good thing – our military. Yeah, people say it so often it almost becomes a cliché, but these men and women and, now, others, are out there doing their thing for us every day. And, frankly, we are showing ourselves unworthy. Yet there they are, and they sure as hell are not doing it for the money.
“The flooding in Louisiana and the hurricane in the Southeast – those are bad things. But the way Americans helped their neighbors, without having to be organized or ordered around – that was something we can all be proud of.
“Wine is a good thing. So is beer, except for boring, bitter craft beer that people insist is good in order to try and seem hip, but which makes them wish they had a crisp Dos Equis instead. It’s good that we will only have to endure pumpkin-infused stuff for three more weeks.
“Smartphones are pretty awesome. Some of us crusties can remember back in the day before there were phones you carried around with you, even before the internet, back when we tied onions to our belts, which was the style at the time. Technology is awesome, even if it caused Twitter.
“Fear the Walking Dead is off the air for a while, but Westworld is on. Those are both good things. Also, am I wrong or is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson the most charismatic guy in Hollywood? He’s just terrific – and I love that I don’t know (nor care) about his politics. I’m glad he’s around – watch Ballers and tell me he’s not a superstar.”
His column reminds me of my all time favorite joke, entitled “We Can Still Be Friends”. If you haven’t heard it before, ask me.
And remember, dogs are still awesome. No one’s screwed up dog awesomeness yet.