I Keep Losing Track Of Who’s Keeping Black People Down

 

Former Vice President Joe Biden tells MSNBC that Republicans do not want black people to vote.

Take it away, Joseph:

“It’s what these guys are all about, man. These Republicans don’t want working class people voting. They don’t want black folks voting…there’s a movement. You have George Will making the argument that felons should have their right restored to vote…”

You see what Joey Shotgun did there, right? Black people are pretty much working class felons. Here’s a protip: don’t try talking that way unless you’re a card-carrying Democrat, because #youwontgetasecondchance

Added points for addressing his interviewer, Al Sharpton, as “man”. I’m jus’ talkin’ ’bout Shaft!

We can dig it.

Meanwhile, at the High Church of Caffeinated Progressivism, a.k.a. Starbucks, they’re facing a surprising boycott call from non-felonious black folk after what happened at one of their Philadelphia stores.

Management had two African-American men hauled off by the police because they refused to leave and had not ordered any of the hilariously overpriced menu items. Accused of trespassing, they tried to explain that they were waiting for a friend before ordering. Which is how most of us do it. The friend even showed up during the arrest, which made someone’s cellphone camera video, as these things are wont to do.

“The video shot by customers is very hard to watch,” said Starbucks CEO Kevin “Captain Obvious” Johnson. “The actions in it are not representative of our mission and values”.

I’ve been in Starbucks where people hogged tables to read, websurf or stare into space, with no drinks, or drink cups that had been bone-dry for some time. Heck, trespassing is the most common thing going on there. Since when do they call the cops? Never saw that.

So, is the enemy those Republicans or that progressive, liberal coffee company, man?

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