In My Midnight Confessions…

I can talk about it now.

There’s nothing on that top shelf in the pantry but granola, Grape Nuts and some other health cereal (or possibly just a bag of sand).

But I used to keep a stash: Cocoa Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks and the hard stuff like Frosted Mini-Wheats.

You tell yourself you came for the frosting but stayed for the “wheat”.

Like you’re just pulling stalks of it out of the ground and eating it.

Oh, and not for breakfast. It was my nighttime thing.

You can keep your Pringles and Haagen Daz. I’d make the move for a bowl of cereal, and actually tell myself it wasn’t really a late-night snack and diet killer, but it was just a early start on the next day.


Which brings me to this: Girl Scout Cookie Cereal.

Doesn’t this just seem like an “SNL” skit from back when it was always a funny show?

But no, General Mills (obviously an enemy commander) thinks we need “Thin Mints” cereal swimming in milk.

Wasn’t it embarassing enough when you ate the Girl Scout cookies in the car before you got home from whatever parking lot you’d scored them in?

This is happening.

The struggle is real.


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