BY TREY WARE MARCH 5, 2018
Dear America – Hollywood here.
We had a great time at the 90th Oscars last night. All of us are a little punch drunk and hung over this morning.
Hey – how did you like the show?
We got our usual jabs in on Trump and Pence. Pretty funny stuff huh 😉
We feel better now.
We think we made our gun control message clear. Congress needs to do more to take guns away from everyday Americans like you. Guns should only be used to protect those of us in the special class.
Dude, last night we were surrounded by more that 500 armed men in concentric rings around our building. There were also bomb-sniffing dogs, under cover men speaking into their wrists, high fences and locked access gates, and helicopters flying overhead. We all felt really safe knowing that if any violence broke out there were armed men here to stop it – immediately.
It was so cool.
Oh, and we were all very proud of our gun-control lapel pins. Many of us talked about how this new fashion movement will have a huge impact on school shootings.
As far as the award to Kobe goes, we just want to say….
….oops, time’s up. We gotta go.
We are all getting together for another drink and to watch the replay of last night.
Man – we were funny.