People Who Need People Are The Luckiest People

To whoever first asked the question, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?”, I offer Jennifer and Brad.

No, not that Jennifer and Brad.

The NY Post pumped out the story of a woman who, 20 years after having her children, went looking for love in all the wrong places, meaning Craigslist.

She thirsted for a man with whom she could have ABR. I thought that stood for A Brief Relationship. But it actually means Adult Breastfeeding Relationship. According to Jen, it was hard to find a breast man. Hmm, where the hell was she looking?!

Anyway, she poured out her desire to an old flame from school, Brad, who was “curious and excited”.

“At that point I knew I had a partner for life.”

Pros: He can’t talk during meals, little or no grocery shopping, his bones will be nice and strong.

Cons: Rinsing out the Evenflo in the work cafeteria, Jen can never serve on a jury, strangers blogging about them.

Dean sang “everybody loves somebody sometime”. And their sometime is now.


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