There Is Someone Out There For Everyone

“Everybody loves somebody sometime,” crooned Dean Martin. But what did he know, really?

According to Good Housekeeping (I was reading it for a friend), the hot new trend is self-marriage.

Say goodbye to same-sex weddings. Say hello to same-person weddings. Who’ll bake that cake?!

GH goes on to tell the (sad) story of a young lady named Erika who planned an elaborate ceremony, send out invitations, found a perfect gown, procured fresh fruit tarts and baguettes from a French bistro and wrote her own vows.

“It wasn’t an easy decision,” said she.

There are now self-wedding planners, travel and resort packages tailored to parties of one, and even a online, turnkey DIY kit that includes ring, vows and suggestions for music. I’m thinking “One” by Three Dog Night.

Don’t worry—it’s not legal. Yet. No tax breaks. More like a “rebuke” of tradition, says one author.

It actually sounds more like a cry for attention, or help.

I mean, seriously, I’ve seen women, and men, who are so bitterly disappointed that they are still single, that they overdo the whole “I’m loving my life!!!!” thing on Facebook: look at the whole 5-course meal I made myself! Look at the tour of Europe I gave me for my 40th birthday! Here I am not needing anybody!!! Whee!

Sadly, people who are constantly crowing about how happy they are to be solo…aren’t at all happy. They are drowning in misery and, for them, sending out “self-wedding” invitations is more like a plea to be noticed.

Ironically, the bitterness and acting out actually scares off a potential friend or suitor. No one wants in on that.

Truly self-contained people, who by choice, widowhood or age, are resolved to go it alone, are usually pretty low-key about it. Contentment doesn’t require selfies. When your own company is rewarding, you don’t need vows or rings. And a solo life can be lived with dignity and fulfillment.

I’ve never been invited to a self-wedding, but I know some likely candidates. If I did get that invite, I think I’d want to throw an event of my own.

An intervention.

 

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