Best Place to Hide Is On FBI “Radar”

If you’re looking to get away from it all, I know a nice secluded spot where no one will bother you.

Guaranteed.

Have you ever noticed how often the perpetrator of something horrible, like yesterday’s Georgia high school shooting, was described as “on the FBI’s radar”?

School shooters, terrorists, child traffickers—no matter the time, no matter the crime, they all showed up on the “radar”. Yet, despite their detection, nothing was done. If you want them to leave you alone, make sure to get on their radar, it seems.

“We were aware” and “no probable cause” can usually be found in these stories, too.

Besides the dated, dopey analogy to “radar”,  what’s the point of having this radar scope, or of someone being on it, if the FBI leadership is busy going through Melania’s shoe closet or harassing parents at school board meetings?

Is there someone in D.C. whose job is to punch out the boilerplate “on our radar” statement whenever a fresh horror is unleashed?

Does the radar comfort the victims, survivors and those left shaken? Does it reassure the rest of us? Have you ever read a column with more question marks in it?

If everything is on the radar, then, really, nothing is.