Democrats Got 68 Percent Of This Vote

According to CNN exit polling, 68% of single women marked their ballot for Democrats in the midterms.

Talk about “all the single ladies!”

By comparison, married women were +15% for Republicans. Married men voted GOP by 20 points. Single guys +7 for Republicans.

Unless the Repubs have a secret plan to marry off all these women, they’re going to have to figure out how to talk with them.

Maybe Syracuse Professor of Political Science Jenn M. Jackson can explain what’s going on here. The self-described “queer, genderflux, androgynous Black woman” is writing about “monogamy culture”, and clearly it has to go.

“Monogamy culture is consumed with ideas about possession and hoarding.

“It’s romantic capitalism.

“Monogamous persons are socialized from childhood to believe that affection, care and concern are all limited resources that can only be directed at someone they want to sleep with…

“I am finding it hard to build in community with queer monogamous folk…”

Are you hoarding anyone special these days?

She wants us folk to know that it’s “ok” to be monogamous, in the way that it’s “ok” to have an Android phone, but we can’t have it be the cultural norm. And, of course, it’s the white colonizers who made it so. We strike again, muhahaha.

She has quite a following, too. Her fans complain: too many love songs are about couples, marketing of Valentine’s Day, it’s all so emotionally manipulative.

I can’t believe these people aren’t already taken—oh wait, there I go again, colonizing.

Sorry, none of this sounds new. It’s usually a transitional feeling you get between relationships, especially right after one ends. You wallow, you weep, you eat junk food, and your friends snap you out of it.  Imagine relishing it so much that you make it your identity?

Meanwhile, back to the single Democratic voters. Any ideas, matchmakers?