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It’s OK If You Can’t Make A Burger, Beto. You Can’t Be President Either.

I get the whole cinema verite thing with pols and social media, but stick with what you’re good at, Beto O’Rourke.

Like getting your teeth cleaned. You’re a champ. Nice gums!

Now, there’s this randomly short clip of the The Two-Percent Kid making his family some burgers.

To paraphrase Liz Warren, “you didn’t fry that”. Except he did.

Not sure when this outtake from Food Network happened. Was it during his “break” from campaigning? While he photobombed El Paso’s grief?

Anyway, I’m just wondering:

Why all the pans? Looks like his (I’ll generously call them sliders, since they’re so paltry) patties could easily have fit in one skillet. To coin a saying, this guy’s all skillet, no beef.

Hold on—a skillet??? A guy from Texas, making hamburgers in skillets? This must have been his technique at the dorm at Columbia, when he told everyone to call him “Robert”.

Processed cheese squares? No.

English muffins? For the love of God, why?

And the side order of raw broccoli—very pandery. No one’s eating that, not when a delectable mini-burger on a scone can be had!

It was bad enough when he “changed a tire”.

Now’s he’s making Julian look like Mike Rowe.

But, on the bright side, after the 2020 election, if he needs to get a job, he can tell McDonald’s he has “experience”.


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