Jack Riccardi: Just A Minute, “Biden Furious At Your Judgement of Him”

“You bunch of ingrates. I did a magical airlift! 4 presidents, but I ended the war!

“You all want war forever! Do you have any idea how much that would cost? (Not as much as all the other things I’m trying to do, but I won’t mention that…)

(Insert some Clint Eastwood-style threats against ISIS-K…’we are just over the horizon! Don’t doubt our capabilities, we left free samples in Kabul!”)

“Don’t you know what war does to soldiers? You should care about the troops like I do. My son was a soldier, and later died, so…practically the same thing!

“C’mon man, you people are so disappointing that I’m not going to take any questions!”