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Markley, van Camp and Robbins | August 9, 2021

MVC&R are like everyone else, in that they do not know what is going on with kids and COVID. A New York Times reporter says the Obama birthday bash was safe, because it was a “sophisticated crowd.” An accuser of Governor Andrew Cuomo comes forward, saying, “He grabbed my butt.” Mayor Lori Lightfoot is calling for a day of mourning, after the weekend saw 73 people shot, 11 killed, and one of them was a Chicago police officer. Americans plan on using home deliveries as their primary form of shopping, and O.J. Simpson won’t go back to Los Angeles, because he doesn’t want to run into the “real killer.” The White House claims ending unemployment benefits had nothing to do with the positive jobs report, and Dr. Anthony Fauci criticizes the motorcycle rally in Sturgis, South Dakota. Texas democrats hilariously are suing the governor of the state, and Live Nation will allow artists to require proof of vaccination at concerts. The NIH director cannot understand the politics of vaccine mandates, and Subway franchisees are fed up with the Megan Rapinoe TV ads.

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