The Boys do not think freedom is overrated, but President Joe Biden seems to think it is. The Justice Department has been unable to find “terrorists” at school board meetings, but they are determined to look into it regardless. Alec Baldwin killed one and injured another in a prop gun mishap, and we find out there are more Americans stranded in Afghanistan than we were originally told. The kinder and gentler Taliban beheaded a member of the girls’ national volleyball team, and Dave Chappelle says he is willing to have a conversation with Netflix employees. It turns out the Loudoun County school board was notified of the sexual assault in its high school, and the Haitian gang is threatening to kill American missionaries if the ransom is not paid. Dr. Phil is being sued for sending a teen to an abusive treatment center, and Rep. Boebert appeared to catch Rep. Nadler sleeping during the Garland hearing. Ryan Fujitani takes a week off from delivering cinema news, b-b-b-but the Friday Five ROCKS — Best Stutter Songs.