The Best Thing To Do About Halloween

I’m going to be candid ‘cuz some of you need to hear it.

If you’re an adult, and don’t come at me with the made-up word “adulting”, the best thing you can do about Halloween is NOTHING.

Don’t protest it. Opt in or opt out. Quietly. I can respect not wanting any part of it. But it’s not the Dobbs decision or the Electoral College. Not a debate-worthy thing at all. Please.

Don’t cancel the kids’ costume parade out of “inclusivity” concerns, as a bunch of cranks in Pennsylvania just did.

Don’t insist on “woke” costumes.  Maybe she doesn’t want to be RBG, or a solar panel. If they so desire, let them be cowboys, Indians, soldiers, heck, even congressmen. Well, maybe draw the line there. Oh, and your kid’s costume choice isn’t an extension of you, or your politics. That’s just sad and weak.

Don’t hand out toothbrushes or apple slices, or raisins, or granola. If you don’t have a bowl of candy, keep your damn porch light off and watch C-Span in the dark. Like you probably do every other night.

Every single adult impulse, when imposed upon Halloween, ruins it.

Let. Them. Be. Kids.


More about: