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The Slobs Of Egypt Forced Me Into Finally Getting “Cheetahs”

KTSA photo/Jack Riccardi

One morning, reading a few Bible passages to start the day, I read the following:

“See the Lord is riding a swift cloud, on his way to Egypt;

“The slobs of Egypt tremble before him” (Isaiah 19:1)

“Slobs”?! I thought. Wait, did they have that word back then?

The actual passage refers to “The idols of Egypt”, which makes more sense. Much more sense. Idols, not slobs.

Moments like that finally convinced me to make the big three-dollar investment in those over-the-counter reading glasses at HEB.

They made the slobs go away, as soon as I put them on. I wasn’t vain, just stubborn. Didn’t want the hassle of whipping those things on and off, or balancing them low on the nose like some snarky senator at a hearing (“Isn’t it TRUE, sir…?)

My dad had needed those reading specs when he got older. Like a lot of people, he called them “cheaters” (as opposed to regular full-time eyeglasses, which are more…honest?).

Except, with his Boston accent, it came out as “cheetahs”. To a kid, it always sounded like he was looking for jungle cats (“Where are my cheetahs? Has anyone seen my cheetahs?”)

A lot of the time, the cheetahs were on top of his head.

Now, thanks to the slobs of Egypt, I have some cheetahs around the house and office, too.

I highly recommend them.



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