They’re Coming For Your Sandwich

Old problem: some guy at work stealing your sandwich from the office fridge.

New problem: the guy is Joe Biden.

Today’s Wall Street Journal reports on federal government nutritionists targeting Americans’ overdosing on sodium, sugar and saturated fat, and concluding that sandwiches “are a primary culprit”.

Really? I can think of so many things that would be worse for you, like almost everything inside the gas station.

A Tufts University professor calls “the standard deli sandwich” a “heart bomb”, which on “The Dish” Friday nights would rate as a praise, I think.

“A heart bomb”. Sounds like a Fauci-ism.

The article generously allows that we workin’ folk favor sandwiches because they’re “tasty, portable and inexpensive”, which also sounds like some people I know. But we are urged to make them healthier, using ingredients like whole grains, veggies, tuna and crickets.

Actually, it doesn’t mention crickets. I made that up. But you know they’re coming to that, eventually.

Leaving aside “heart bomb” sandwiches, which, again, sound delicious, I’m keeping my sandwich options open.

I’ve always loved them, from my college days, through the bachelor apartment era, to the present day of  it being the fastest meal one can prepare.

Is there any greater act of love than your mom making a PB&J and slicing it diagonally?

Somehow, knowing that they have a target on their bready flanks, makes sammies now taste even better than ever.