People have been sending me and sharing a movie trailer that I thought was clever satire.

Instead, it’s an actual indy-horror flick, “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey”.

Now, I never was a big Winnie fan back in the day. He was a little too boring for me, but he’s more than making up for that now, what with decapitating victims, drinking blood and the like. Oh, and (spoiler alert) he may have eaten Eeyore.

The premise:  (and can you imagine the pitch meetings on this one?) Christopher Robin went off to college and abandoned his buddies.

Now, in the “Toy Stories” movies, this makes Woody, Buzz and Co., for the most part, wistful and nostalgic. Thank goodness.

Here, Pooh and Piglet struggle, and because they have to fend for themselves, it can only mean they become predatory and depraved. You know, it’s what capitalism does, people! Say it with me, “it’s the Age of Trump!”

When millenial Chris and his obligatory nubile friends show up to reconnect, it’s not gauzy memories with a Kenny G. soundtrack.

Pooh and Piglet go all Freddy Krueger on ’em. Oh bother, to say the least.

When I stop to think about how long I’ve neglected Curious George and the Peanuts gang, it makes me afraid to leave the house.

More about: